You Don’t Have to Die to Find Peace

Have you ever asked yourself, what would drive someone to kill themselves? 

I’m sorry, what an awful way to start an article.

I lost a friend this past week. A vibrant, smart soul with teenage children and a wife. I struggle to understand.

My friend Ted was such a high achiever. He had his doctorate in geo-something or other and was one of the smartest men I know. Whenever we spoke, I was in awe of his knowledge, and his ability to analyze data and ask really good questions. He had a knack of cutting through the rhetoric and was one of the best critical thinkers I’ve ever known.

We could discuss politics, climate change, even COVID-19 policy, and he would have data at his fingertips. He never settled for what was in the media… or even what people said… he was a masterful researcher.

So what prompted him to take his life? My friends and I struggle with this. I mean, couldn’t he “think” himself out of his mindset? Couldn’t he use his skills as a thinker to quash the illogical and hurtful thoughts? 

Was it because he was such a smart high-achiever that he thought people might see him as weak? 

But what of his logical, smart disposition? How did he reconcile the decision?

I won’t lie, there have been times when I wondered why we do what we do. Seeded in unrealized dreams and aspirations and the struggles of driving my business, clashing with the needs of my family and the attention they desire,  I’ve had those, “What’s it all for?” conversations with myself. 

I know, that when I am feeling that way, I should be reaching out to somebody. But perhaps like Ted, people come to me with their problems, and I don’t go to them. Maybe that is the downsized to being a service provider.

I know I have to think differently. I know I should reach out to someone to discuss how I am feeling. 

But the mere thought of whining and belly-aching to someone about my feelings and playing the “woe-is me card” just seems so trite and self-indulgent. There are so many much bigger problems in the world… who the frig do I think I am? 

Besides, like Ted, I am the jovial sort. I have high energy, and if you were to ask me how I am, I’ll tell you I have nothing to complain about… That I am great…. But the truth is, I am not. 

Ted’s dead at 51. I need to still learn from Ted. I need to have the fortitude and courage to reach out when I’m feeling awful. 

And so do you. 

The consequence of not doing so is so damn final–at it hurts so many.

If anything I’ve written today resonates. Please reach out to someone. Admit you are not perfect and you are not OK.

In Canada, you can get more info here, or you can text 45645 or call 1-833-456-4566.

In the US, get more info here, or call  1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

If you promise to reach out when you are suffering, I promise to do the same. Deal?

Rest in Peace Ted.

Marc is a service expert and a master of experiences. He's also an author, speaker, facilitator and coach. He will help your teams ignite their passions, enable your leaders to recentre their focus, and drive continuous improvement through connected and engaged employees. This will allow you to realize your competitive advantage with a connected purpose and consistency of customer experience across your brand. He will dare your people to cultivate a generous attitude and lead with love and kindness first.

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Lyndi Hamon

Marc gave a really great presentation. He was engaging, relatable and has a great sense of humour, I was laughing throughout the presentation.

He seems to understand the clientele well, what to expect, and how to find points of improvement and relatability.

Overall I would give his presentation high ratings, I think this kind of client-focused training is important for any business to learn.
Lyndi Hamon, Electrologist, Event Attendee
Dr. Danie Botha
"Marc’s Leverage Design Thinking for Your Next Live Event workshop was a real game changer. Going into the 3-hour session as a “skeptic,” I left a “believer.” The fast-paced, hands-on approach and Marc’s enthusiasm, insight, and knowledge helped our group change how we now prepare for our next live event."
Danie Botha, Physician, Author, Speaker
I recently attended a brainstorming session that Marc conducted for the CAFP. Not only did Marc structure it in such a way that within an hour we had a list of valuable takeaways that I had thought would take at least three hours to uncover, but his level of engagement and energy, and use of humour meant that we ended up with excellent outcomes AND had a lot of fun along the way.
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Marc’s breakout session was very informative, enjoyable, and presented in a humorous way. I recommend it highly.
Eva Bencsik, Mr. Printer
I thought his presentation was very informative and provided a lot of insight into problem-solving in regards to some of the issues our industry deals with, specifically with clients.

He was a great speaker and enjoyed it very much, I feel as though Marc has had a lot of experience in the business industry and is genuine in wanting to help others with their businesses.

He had a few funny moments we all enjoyed too! I felt there was value in his presentation/training because I was able to relate and use it towards both of the businesses I have, Electrolysis and my Skincare line.
Susanne Bodevin, Director
I just came out of Marc’s session on how to become an empathetic leader. I chose his session because as a manager, I get so caught up with my day-to-day responsibilities, that I have not been present with my team. Marc’s session today gave me strategies and systems to help me be more present, and more sensitive to the needs of my people.
Tracey Durant, South-Side Sobey’s
A few years ago I attended one of Marc’s workshops with a number of my front line employees. We found the session helpful not only with dealing with difficult customers but our people felt they also applied the techniques to their everyday lives and with fellow staff members in resolving conflicts. Marc made the group feel comfortable enough to share stories and experiences as well as tactics that had worked for them in the past. I have attended many similar events where people were never as forthcoming as we experienced here. The material was pertinent and topical and Marc was able to make it relevant to everyone in the room. I have always prided myself on being a good conflict arbitrator and still today find that I am able to utilize many of the ideas and techniques we learned in Marc’s session.
Jeff Millar, IGA Garden Markets
Marc's Dealing with Difficult People strategies and content were so valuable I was able to successfully put them into practice the very next day while dealing with an irate citizen. He was happy, I was happy - made for a great day!
Tracy Preece, Bylaw Officer (former), Town of Devon
Marc Haine is emerging as one of the best motivational and inspirational speakers in Alberta. He is a masterful presenter and engages his audience with a positive and uplifting message. His trademark is "Dare to be the exception", and for groups and organizations that need to think - and act - "outside the box" should not hesitate to have Marc as their keynote speaker
Judge Brian Stevenson, Past International President, Lions Clubs International

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