7 Ways to Build Your Gratitude Muscle
“Gratitude is a gift, not a chore.”
Marc Haine
The incessant barrage of COVID-19 lockdowns, emerging variants, anti-passport/anti-vax protests and political and economic unrest have all led to a feeling of uncertainty for the future.
With such immense uncertainty, how can one live their best life with gratitude?
Gratitude At Work CEO
Steve Foran
Gratitude at Work CEO, Steve Foran, explain, “There is an unrelenting force working like gravity, that is constantly trying to pull you down, trying to pull your mindset back down into a negative emotional state so when there’s a lockdown; when you lose a key employee; when people don’t show up; when all these things happen, those are the things that drag us down.”
A recent Halo survey cited that:
- 70% of employees would feel better about themselves if their boss were more grateful, and 81% would work harder.
- Over 90% of American teens and adults indicated that expressing gratitude made them “extremely happy” or “somewhat happy”.
- Regular gratitude journaling has been shown to result in 5% to 15% increases in optimism and 25% increased sleep quality.
Although Foran has been working around grateful leadership for 16 years, it was only three years ago when he heard celebrated innovator, engineer, physician, and entrepreneur, Peter Diamandis respond to the question, “Peter, how do you decide what you invest your time, your money, your energy in? How do you decide what you get behind?” His response?
“I ask myself one question: Does it have the ability to impact one billion people?”
This answer gave Foran goosebumps and ignited his passion to dream big. As a result, he changed his company’s mission to phrase it as a dream. That dream is one billion happier people. This is how his community of ‘One Billion Happier People’ launched.
Foran explains, “I’m on this journey of mastery of grateful leadership with others. When I’m not intentional, the important things in my life I take for granted. And when I take them for granted, I’m not grateful for them and I can feel entitled and complacent. And when that happens, we don’t bring out our best selves. So I don’t show up as my best self.”
Foran shares 7 pointers on how to build our gratitude muscles and how we can use them more intentionally than we already do so that we can be better versions of ourselves.
1. Form thoughts of gratitude based on the benefits you’ve received or the cost of somebody’s sacrifices.
Foran says, “We can frame any gratitude in terms of the benefits to ourselves or the sacrifices of others or the cost to somebody else.”
There is a grateful acknowledgement amidst the repercussions of the crisis. There are still trusted authorities, communities and individuals who sacrifice their time and effort to help people in need. As Albert Schweitzer once said, “At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
2. Despite an imperfect world, there will always be something to be grateful for.
We don’t always have control over the circumstances and challenges that life throws our way. But we do have control over ourselves and how we approach those challenges in our life. We can choose to focus and be pulled down by the uncontrollable, or we can focus on the good things that still exist despite this.
The World Happiness Report 2021 (WHR) suggests that in the midst of challenges, employees have come to value their work for more fundamental reasons during the pandemic and may simply be happy to have a reliable source of income.
“Every day you have that ability to say “thank you” by how you serve, that mindset of paying it forward for everything.”
3. Gratitude unlocks our potential and increases productivity.
As human beings, we tend to lose focus and fixate on the dilemmas and crises that are under our noses. More than ever, that is when we need to access the executive function of our brain. Gratitude is the tool that helps us make that connection.
Foran explains, “This is why it’s important to be in the ‘arriving and thriving’ stage because when you’re up there, you’re in a positive emotional state. And when you’re in a positive emotional state, you then have access to the executive function in your brain. This is what controls critical thinking, decision making, creativity, innovation and how you interact in social situations.”
4. Influence over self is a prerequisite to making a massive influence on others.
As John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence.” However, Foran thinks it should start with influence over self. He says, “I don’t think you’re going to influence anyone that is operating at a higher mindset than you. This is not positional. This is just a mindset on how to influence others.”
In the hospitality industry, for instance, we see custodial staff that can light up a room when they walk in. They don’t have direct reports under them but they have influence. As a challenge to positional leaders, it is even more important for them to set an example for others to follow.
Check out our full interview here.
5. Consistency is the key to treating people with gratitude and influences their behaviour and responses.
“I believe gratitude is a lever that you, as a business owner and entrepreneur, can use in your business to really make some intentional changes in how your people show up.” Says Foran.
As much as leadership can be influential, we can’t command people to be grateful. Leaders need to model the behaviour first – and like any leadership habit, the proof of character and integrity is when things go terribly wrong. By being intentional and present, in spite of the current crisis or struggle, leaders can positively affect performance and outcomes.
6. Using gratitude to counter negativity, keeps things positive.
As much as you are rising from Surviving to Thriving, negative forces try to keep you down.
In discussing the monster path and hierarchy from surviving to striving, to arriving and to thriving, Foran says that the downward pressure is a constant reminder that even if you’re spending all your time thriving, there is a force that is constantly at work.
“The greatest contributory factor to this is the ‘negative attribution bias’ which is the human fascination with negativity. People glob on to negative news, information and situations,” he says.
It may come through people you’re working with or members of your friends and family. It can seem like someone or something, by their actions, inactions, remarks and reactions, is trying to pull you back down into survival mode.
We see this effect on how negative social media posts get more attention than positive ones. Even positive posts of people showing off their wonderful life contribute to an unrelenting comparison of others: Driving to lower levels of happiness and contentment.
7. Take the 4 Habitual Rituals challenge for 30 days.
Check out this article on the Four Gratitude Rituals to Bolster Your Mindset.
For the next thirty days, be intentional and present by doing these 4 practices
- Make a list of what you’re grateful for.
- Consume other people’s gratitude.
- Share your gratitude.
- Say “Thank You” to express your appreciation.
Practicing gratitude helps build multiple relationships within a social network directly and simultaneously. Experiments revealed that participants who witnessed a “thank you” expressed to someone who previously helped the grateful person, were themselves more helpful toward the grateful person. Moreover, witnesses of gratitude expressed to someone, even with a video recording, had more trust for, and wanted to affiliate more with the grateful person and the person to whom the gratitude was expressed.
Foran encourages people to find a trigger, something that you can use in your day that’s going to remind you to stop, no matter what’s going on, and find something to be grateful for. Set daily reminders on your smartphone, once or twice a day, to stop and express your gratitude in various ways. Post on social media, share with your community, journaling and calling or texting a friend.
Foran leaves us with this thought, “Every day you have that ability to say “thank you” by how you serve, that mindset of paying it forward for everything.”
Steve Foran
GratitudeAtWork.ca
About Steve Foran
Steve’s dream is One Billion Happier People
While not the typical career path of an Electrical Engineer, He began exploring the relationship between gratitude and philanthropic giving during his MBA—receiving the Gold Medal for highest academic standing. Since then, He’s been writing and conducting practice-based gratitude research and teaching the habits of gratefulness—close to fifteen years now. What has emerged is a science-based program, Gratitude At Work. It’s a simple, yet innovative approach to thriving leadership and business growth.
He founded Gratitude at Work in 2007 and started hosting conversations in his community which have since grown into work with leaders around the world, shifting cultures, helping leaders and their teams be happier at work by bringing more gratitude to work each day.
His 2019 book, Surviving to Thriving – The 10 Laws of Grateful Leadership, was named 1 of 8 recommended reads by Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Berkeley and 1 of 5 positive psychology books for a happier 2019 in inc. Also in 2019, He was an inaugural winner of Canada’s CEO Trusted Advisor Awards Program and in 2017, and was awarded the highest earned designation in professional speaking, CSP™.
Connect with Steve at: Steve@gratitudeatwork.ca | https://www.gratitudeatwork.ca/ and on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steveforangratefulceo/
If you would like a complimentary 30-minute brainstorming session with me, feel free to book a time that works for you on my online calendar.
Marc Haine
Marc is a service expert and a master of experiences. He's also an author, speaker, facilitator and coach. He will help your teams ignite their passions, enable your leaders to recentre their focus, and drive continuous improvement through connected and engaged employees. This will allow you to realize your competitive advantage with a connected purpose and consistency of customer experience across your brand. He will dare your people to cultivate a generous attitude and lead with love and kindness first.
I agree that when you show appreciation for the efforts and results of your team, they become more productive.
Thanks Patrick,
And don’t you feel amazing when you show appreciation to others? It makes such a difference.
Marc